Are you friends with your spouse? Are you best friends? When someone asks you who your best friend is…do you answer with your closest girlfriend or guy friend…or do you answer “My husband/wife.”
Lets first take a look at what the Biblical aspect of a friendship is.
“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Loneliness is everywhere. Many people feel cut off and alienated from others. Have you ever been in a crowd but still feeling alone. It makes people more aware of their isolation when they are in the middle of a huge crowd, if they don’t know anyone there. We all need friends who will stick close, listen to us when we need an ear, care when we are hurting, and offer help when needed, in good times and in bad. It is better to have one such friend than dozens of superficial acquaintances. Instead of wishing you could find a true friend, seek to make your spouse your closest friend. They need your friendship. Ask God to draw you closer to your spouse so those feelings of being alone and needing someone are fulfilled by your spouse. Then take on the challenge of being the one true friend that they need.
Ways to make your spouse your best friend.
- When we get into arguments with our spouses, do we actually think about what we are doing? Think of your closest friend and put them in the place of your spouse. Would you say the things to your friend that you say to your spouse? If they were in front of you would you treat them with respect or would you pick them apart like a piece of monkey bread? More than likely your answer was that you would respect them and tell them in a loving manner what they had done to upset you. Instead we pick our spouses apart and yell and try to prove our point so that we may be declared the winner.
- Likewise, how much time do we invest in getting to know our spouses. I know you are thinking I did that when we were dating. But let me tell you, I study my husband all hours of everyday, and I feel as if I have barely made it out of High School. We should all strive to get our masters in our spouses….and then move on to a doctorate. The more we can learn about our spouse the happier we can make them and therefore we will be happier in our marriage. Don’t assume you know all you need to know about your spouse. There are always things to learn about what pleases them or what makes them tick.
- When you are standing around talking to your girlfriends/guy friends, and they start dogging on their spouses, make an appoint to brag on yours. Do not fall into the trap of “gossip about your spouse” to fit in, or have fun. Likewise, if you are around someone who starts talking trash on your spouse, take up for him/her. Let the world know that you are your spouses biggest supporter. Believe it or not, this will show more respect towards your spouse than anything you could do.
- Do something that your spouse wants to do, even if you don’t want to. My husband loves to fish. I don’t hate to fish but I would rather clean out the garage. LOL So I buy a fishing license every year and every so often all summer we go fishing. He stands on the shore having the time of his life casting out and reeling in and casting out and reeling in, while I sit in my chair with my poles in the water reading a book or surfing the web. I do this because I love him and it is something he enjoys. When couples first get together, they do things they don’t want to do all the time because they enjoy seeing their partner happy. Then they get married and they get lazy. “Well I got’em…so now I don’t have to.” Get out of your comfort zone and do something for them. It will change the way they react to you in so many ways.
God intended for marriage to be a lifetime committment. Society makes divorce to easy in today’s day and age. If we go into marriage with the mindset of “Oh well…if it don’t work out I will just get out and find someone else.” Remember the grass is NEVER greener on the other side. The only thing you do by jumping over the fence is living in someone elses pasture and dealing with their grass.